Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wearing Your Mother's Wedding Dress Revisited




There is an ongoing discussion about whether or not it is worth the time and effort to alter and update your mother’s wedding dress in order to make it wearable for your wedding day. While there may be discoloring or other distress to the gown that may prevent it being worn, if it has meaning to you as well as your mother and you are considering the value, please take a moment to read the following guest blog provided by Crystal Hochhalter, a very special 2008 bride. This blog might just cure the skeptics!

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When Dan proposed to me, I didn’t even THINK of wearing my mom’s dress. She was only 17 when she married my dad (I do not have a 17 year old’s body anymore), and I didn’t think it would be “my style.” We traveled back home to see my family the weekend after the proposal. While there, just on a whim, I decided to try on my mom’s wedding dress. My fiancĂ© was in the room with me as I shimmied myself into the dress- I said “try to zip it up.” zzzzzip! It zipped right up! It was at that moment that I frantically looked at him and said, “You can’t see me in the dress! It’s bad luck!”... He hurried out of the room laughing. I did NOT think it would fit!

I called my mom into the room (she had no idea what I was doing) - as soon as she saw me, she started crying. I knew at that moment that this was the dress. We both cried, trying not to get mascara on the dress! My parents are still married-, which is hard to find these days- so wearing her dress became my way of honoring their love and commitment to each other. Not only was it special for ME to walk down the isle in her dress and feel that glow, but it was special for my parents. My mom was reminiscing about her wedding day and my dad cried. My maternal Grandma was reminiscing as well- she couldn’t stop smiling. It was so special.

The dress originally had sleeves, which was a little dated, so I had a seamstress take them off. The dress had a few stains / aging discoloration so we added beaded antique lace on TOP of the original lace to mask the wear and tear of an old dress. Her veil was an old “Juliet cap” which you never see these days; it brought such a vintage twist to the dress. I had so many ask me where I got the dress (since it doesn’t look like anything you can buy now). I wore that dress with pride.

My husband LOVED the dress. After his brief accidental viewing of the dress, I would NOT let him see the transformation of the dress. He would look at old wedding photos of my parents and keep saying, “I can’t wait to see you in that dress!” He loved the sentimental value of it and that I was adding some “crystal” to the dress as well.


It is such a timeless design- I hope if I have a little girl, she will wear it on her big day. I tried to think about what dress I would have chosen if my mother’s dress did not work out- I can’t even imagine trying to pick any other dress! You can buy anything off the rack any other day- but for your big day, to wear a dress that belonged to your mother makes it so special.

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If wearing your mother’s wedding dress is not an option, Eliana Baucicault of By Your Side Events offers these alternatives for incorporating your mother’s wedding dress into your wedding:

Bridal Portraits: This is a trend that I am slowly seeing decline ever since the rise of engagement pictures and trash the dress photo shoots. Bridal portraits are professional pictures taken before the wedding of the bride in bridal garment. They are usually displayed in the entrance of the reception room. If you were to consider doing bridal portraits, wearing your mother's wedding dress for the photo shoot could be a great way to compromise with her dream.

-Incorporate it into your dress: Perhaps a piece of her dress can be attached to your dream dress, even if it's just a piece of material in the inside that can count for your "something old".

-Grandchildren: If in fact you come to the conclusion that wearing your mother's wedding dress is not what you want to do, see how she would feel about having the dress turned into a blanket for your first child's christening or baptism.

http://blog.byyoursideevents.com/2009/05/ask-planner-wearing-my-mothers-wedding.html

Displaying your mother’s wedding dress at your bridal shower is another possibility as well as displaying a wedding photo of your parents.

The idea of “upcycling” is offered by William McDonough and Michael Braungart in their book on ecologically intelligent design, Cradle to Cradle. Wearing your mother’s wedding dress is a demonstration of this concept and another way to make your wedding eco-friendly.

For further information that may prove helpful in altering an heirloom wedding dress please view the following site.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2319574_alter-mothers-wedding-gown.html

Thank you, Crystal, for a touching perspective! And thank you Krista Lee Photography for the beautiful photos!

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